Anger

Have you ever just felt angry? Blood boiling, ready to snap, angry? For me, it feels like drowning...I have no one to talk to about this anger, I guess that's because I hold on to things, a thought can reopen a wound long since scarred over. All it seems to do is fester inside of me, like a putrid wound, and deep down, I just want to run outside, stand on a box and SCREAM! Scream as loud as I can, then find everyone who has hurt me, big or small, and yell...just  scream every painful ugly thing they have made me experience, make them know my pain is valid...

I know no one will read this, which is why I am posting here on my blog. I want people to know I am worth something, I am worth responding to, I may be weird but I am not creepy and worthless...I deserve respect, I deserve kindness because I bend over backward for people, you need an ear, I'm here, you need something fixed, I got it, you need someone to work, point me in the right direction, but funny how no one is there when I need something. So, I have learned the VERY hard way, the only person I can depend on is me, friends don't really care, my family doesn't care, people I reach out to sure as hell don't care, so pat yourselves on the back, you have broken my spirit...there wasn't much left to be fair, but it is broken. I am drowning in loneliness, but I'm supposed to be strong for everyone else, and if I wasn't so damn scared of the physical pain, I would end things right here and now.

Now that perfect strangers have sat in judgement of me in a public place, saying how weird I am, and creepy, as tears fall down my cheeks, I give in...I give up...people suck, and I am closed down...