So much messiness!

Well...today marks two months exactly since Cleo left this earth and I think I miss her more and more every day. Things are just WAY too quiet without her...Over the past few weeks, my little rain cloud came back, lets just say I did NOT miss it at all. Everything seems to go wrong, and though many of those things are little, they pile up so high I just want to scream. Dropping stuff, spilling things, running in to things, just feels like a little cloud keeps raining on me and I'm having sleep issues bleh. I wish this were a more cheerful post, a post full of happiness but it's just not a very good day...I woke up today, after a horrible night...my least favorite visitor came yesterday and last night the cramps were the worst I've had in AGES! I spent an hour downstairs in pain after waking up every hour on the hour to use the restroom, giving me a rough total of about four hours of sleep. When I popped onto the computer, I was shocked and heartbroken by what I saw...a dear internet friend passed away yesterday and my heart just broke. I had never met this lovely woman, but we played games on Facebook together for a long while and she was always so sweet to everyone! She was everyone's cheerleader, she doted on us, encouraged us, picked us up when we were down and the thought of her sudden passing is crushing me. The past few months have just been tough, no way around that diagnosis...tough enough that I don't care about the fact my birthday is coming up, I haven't gone out to get anything for my party, just wrote up a little list of gifts yesterday, and to be honest, my heart just isn't in it this year. I truly hate feeling this way, especially with the mixed emotions...My dear friend posted a picture of one of my favorite hunks on my page last night, not the one who passed, so on one hand I was smiling and drooling a little over that, and then BAM I get the news about Jeanie. I really have to wonder if the world took me seriously when I said, "I'm not stupid enough to say, 'what else could go wrong'", even though I stated after that it was JUST an observation NOT a challenge. The farm, remembering Cleo, my friend Jeanie's passing, I feel like I'm cracking under the pressure. I have even tried to work out some dialogue or story line for my book, but my brain just will NOT allow it, it spits out these worthless bits of nothing...Sorry if this makes anyone uncomfortable, I just really needed to vent over this, I need some good news stat.

Edit - There is one thing that keeps me halfway sane, The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy playing on Netflix! I'll post a piece from my favorite guest character, Fred Fredburger! I know the quality sucks, but the stuff is hilarious! XD Back in high school, one of my best friends and I LOVE The Grim Adventures of Billy and Mandy, she was Mandy, I was Billy, for obvious reasons! I even named my car after Billy. <3

Fred Fredburger!

Oh and I can't forget the episode with Abraham Lincoln. XD Billy and Mandy Befriend Lincoln.